8/29/07 "Hatin' on the Man, part 2"

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And so continues the story of Loganís hatred of Stan Lee, which we like to call Hatiní On The Man. Itís one thing to hate somebody; itís something else completely to hate on them. Itís like real hating, but harder.

  I canít help but feel that this comic gives the impression that Loganís hatred of Stan Lee is a unique hatred that he cooked up for a special occasion. While in a way itís more vendetta-like than normal hatred, but to understand Logan, you have to understand this: he fucking hates everyone. And itís not even like ďoh he hates everyone he meetsĒ; Logan doesnít have to know someone to hate them. Itís more like when someoneís innocent until proven guilty, but backwards, and instead of being guilty, Logan hates you.

  You have to prove yourself to Logan. Try to catch him in one of his nicer moods and sneak a Little Debbie cake into his mouth. This will please him and make him more comfortable around you, but only for so long, so you might want to keep a few extra snacks on hand. If you sense any hostility, simply give him another treat or maybe a can of sugar soda.

  However, you canít let Logan get too comfortable. If he gets too attached, heíll make a nest in your family room, usually out of blankets and pillows. Having a Logan infestation is not pleasant. Make sure to keep food properly sealed and stored away, or heíll be sure to eat it. His bathroom manners leave a lot to be desired as well, as heíll oftentimes leave the door wide open as he loudly goes about his business.

  Well, I hope that reading this has taught you something. Having a college student stay at your house over the summer may sound like a fun idea, but make sure you know what youíre getting into. Theyíll slowly take over, while relentlessly chipping away at your self esteem. If you let your guard down for even a moment, you could wind up suffering severe bouts of depression with nothing to your name but a weekly webcomic that nobody reads.

  Good luck and have fun!