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And so continues the story of Logan’s hatred of Stan Lee, which we
like to call Hatin’ On The Man. It’s one thing to hate somebody; it’s
something else completely to hate on
them. It’s like real hating, but harder.
I can’t help but feel that this comic gives the impression that
Logan’s hatred of Stan Lee is a unique hatred that he cooked up for a
special occasion. While in a way it’s more vendetta-like than normal
hatred, but to understand Logan, you have to understand this: he fucking
hates everyone. And it’s not even like “oh he hates everyone he
meets”; Logan doesn’t have to know someone to hate them. It’s more
like when someone’s innocent until proven guilty, but backwards, and
instead of being guilty, Logan hates you.
You have to prove yourself to Logan. Try to catch him in one of his
nicer moods and sneak a Little Debbie cake into his mouth. This will
please him and make him more comfortable around you, but only for so
long, so you might want to keep a few extra snacks on hand. If you sense
any hostility, simply give him another treat or maybe a can of sugar
soda.
However, you can’t let Logan get too comfortable. If he gets too
attached, he’ll make a nest in your family room, usually out of
blankets and pillows. Having a Logan infestation is not pleasant. Make
sure to keep food properly sealed and stored away, or he’ll be sure to
eat it. His bathroom manners leave a lot to be desired as well, as
he’ll oftentimes leave the door wide open as he loudly goes about his
business.
Well, I hope that reading this has taught you something. Having a
college student stay at your house over the summer may sound like a fun
idea, but make sure you know what you’re getting into. They’ll
slowly take over, while relentlessly chipping away at your self esteem.
If you let your guard down for even a moment, you could wind up
suffering severe bouts of depression with nothing to your name but a
weekly webcomic that nobody reads.
Good luck and have fun!
-Dylan
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