We’re back, world! Our server was nice enough to send us on
a mandatory vacation. They wouldn’t even let us access our control
panel, to ensure that we couldn’t possibly spoil our time off with
things like updates and webcomics. Thanks MySiteSpace! That was a nice
A lot has happened since our last update. Jeff gave birth to a beautiful
half-human, half-robot child that was implanted in him fifteen years ago
by Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, in an attempt to hide the
child from Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. The robot child’s
heart was actually an ancient relic known as the Allspark, which grants
its owner the ability to bring mechanical objects to life.
However, before Prime could return to Earth to retrieve the child, a
disgruntled ex-federal employee named Thomas Gabriel got his hands on
it. Gabriel was fired from his cushy government job after his post-9/11
cyber security system was rejected. He planned to use the Allspark to
exact revenge on the US, until New York Detective John McClane toppled
his plan and sent Gabriel to an early grave.
In the end, Jeff and I decided to give the robot child to a family in
the Midwest. We don’t have time for a baby right now.
The root beer that we poke fun at in today’s comic actually exists and
those exact words are printed on the package. It must be awesome to work
in marketing, because nothing you say or do is required to make any
fucking sense whatsoever.
It’s good to be back.