6/7/07 "Pirates in a Nut Shell"

<--Back     Home    Arrrrrchive    Next-->

When the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie came out, I thought the idea of making a movie based on a theme park ride was ridiculous. Hollywood has always looked in weird and stupid places for sweet, sweet monies, but this seemed to take the cake. I was pleasantly surprised when the movie turned out really, really good. I didnít actually see the film until it hit DVD, but between the swashbuckling action and Deppís hilarious Jack Sparrow, I enjoyed the movie quite a bit.

  When Dead Manís Chest came out, Jeff, Logan, and I went and saw our theaterís midnight release. My movie-going experience was flipped on its head when compared to the first one, as this time I was expecting a movie as good as or better than its predecessor, and was met with a convoluted mess of pointless plot threads, even more pointless action scenes, and once-great characters that wore thin surprisingly fast.

  When At Worldís End came out, I was cautiously optimistic. After being let down by the second film, I tried not to get my hopes up, but I also thought that the third installment had to be leagues better than the second.  I was wrong. They done fucked up again.

  At Worldís End, while better than Dead Manís Chest, was still the same convoluted mess. There are so many plotlines that are hard to follow, the best example of this being a certain key event that happened in between films that youíre supposed to understand right away. The entire film has you constantly questioning whether or not you even saw the second movie. You have seen it, this movie is just a confusing pile of shit.

  I didnít mean to devote so much of the Happs to Pirates 3, but once I began the tale of how Disney tricked the shit out of me, I just couldnít be stopped.

  Now Iím not in the mood to write anything funny.