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Starting next week, Jeff is going to take a break
from Inner Nut for an undetermined amount of time, so he can spend time
on other projects. So if you’re totally sick of Jeff, now is the time
to start reading the comic! That is because I, DYLAN, am going to fill
in as temporary artist. “But Dylan,” you’ll protest, “you
can’t even draw!”
You don’t think I know that? My life is hard enough without people
like you constantly reminding me of my shortcomings. I have Logan for
that. You don’t even know me! If you’re such a great artist, then
why don’t you have a website? Oh what’s this? A link to your deviant
art page? I should have Logan trample you with his horse. Good luck
catching him. He can make Moscow in like three strides.
A hilarious thing happened last week. Not long after I posted that
entirely factual and in no way fabricated recap of my alcoholism and
domestic violence issues, Jeff’s shoddy driving, and Nick’s tendency
to murder women, a friend
called to inform me that her father had read that post and it caused him
to actually question my sanity.
I was a bit shocked, as I thought murdering hookers was a well known
comedy gag! As Logan put it, “watching a hooker get murdered is like
watching somebody get kicked in the crotch!” I found it hard to
believe that my friend’s father would take something so seriously, but
then I remembered the bit about Nick murdering my wife, and my
subsequent beating of her corpse, and his judgment of my sanity started
to become more and more plausible. It was like a puzzle of my mind,
where I thought everything was fine, until I realized that there were
missing pieces. And then when I put them all together I was nuts.
Frank, I can assure you that if I am crazy, I sure as hell don’t know
about it. Man, this is so frustrating; it makes me want to go punch my
dead wife!
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