9/5/07 "Hatin' on the Man Part 3"

<--Back     Home    Archive    Next-->

And so ends the saga of Logan being a douche bag. How could you hate Stan Lee? The man created so many wonderful superheroes, and he continues to warm our hearts with his goofy old man demeanor and his gibberish catchphrases.

 Honestly, I don't think Stan Lee's writing has aged very well, either. This whole hatred originated when Logan read of the Stan Lee Presents DC comics; either the Aquaman one or the Green Lantern one. Now, in Logan's defense, those weren't very good comics. Stan Lee's take on the characters was interesting, but the writing was boring and the pacing was God-awful, due to Stan's expository style. But when I see him and the way he acts, with his ridiculous mustache, oversized glasses, and cartoony smile, any and all shortcomings are forgiven instantly. It's like hating Gallagher. You can't hate Gallagher. Look at him.

 The same can't be said for Logan. He hates old people, possibly more than young people and middle aged people. I can understand his dislike for the elderly. I don't hate old people, per se, but they can be very frustrating. Here in Disappointmentville, there are a lot of old people, and I always get the vibe that they hate me. Whether it's because my young age means that I have no morals, or they're simply jealous of my youth, they just fucking hate me. Whenever I go to the post office, I always get stuck behind old people, going about their slow business, fuming with their young person hatred.

 All of my grandparents are dead (rest their wrinkly souls), so I don't feel bad talking shit about the elderly. Stop wasting my time, you fragile old people.

 I don't hate babies. Every time I see a baby, I want to befriend and talk to it and teach it things, so that it doesn't grow up to be a mean old person. But I can't do that. They're not mine.

 Hey, if you get a chance, go check out this week's Horribleville comic. KC Green successfully describes a feeling that I, too, have felt far too many times. Jeff feels the same way. I guess this happens to everybody? That fucking sucks.

-Dylan