9/20/07 "The Unfair part2: losing smile"

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When the fair rolls around in Disappointmentville, nothing fucking changes. All of the piss drunk, slack jawed trash goblins that normally populate the county are out in full force, only this time theyíre confined to little wooden booths. They beg for change like usual, only here they ask that you throw that change onto colorful rainbows plastered across a wooden board.

  What drives me nuts about carnies is the undeserved sense of authority they get from running their little bullshit scam stations. What do you think you are, a fucking entrepreneur? If I throw a ping pong ball into a glass of water, I get a dying fish in a bag. Thatís not a business. Thatís some twisted serial killer bullshit.

  What the hell is up with ticket prices? Iím not usually one to complain about rising prices, and I hate people who do. Iím aware that inflation blows, you donít need to remind me that you hate it too. But Nick paid five fucking dollars to ride the Gravitron; five bucks for a 30-second ride on a machine that tries to spin you to death. This is why you never have money, Nick. That isnít worth five dollars.

  However, watching Nick exit the ride, towering over a large group of elementary school kids, was pretty fucking funny, and I probably would have paid five bucks for that.