9/27/07 "The Unfair part 3: Bo-Bo"

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The event depicted in today's Disappointmentville  actually took place and it was pretty, pretty terrible. I was trying to ride the whirly-bird or spinnamiroo or same crazy rotating shitpile and my massive frame couldn't fit into the safety harness. So instead of telling me "Well, this won't work," the operator instead tried to force me into it, which was embarrassing as hell. When he finally got it, I was in immense pain and I couldn't breathe, but everything was A-ok in his fucked up world. The patron was strapped in and the money was in the bank! The thought of spinning around 30 feet in the air while trapped in this suffocating deathseat was terrifying, so I kindly gasped and wheezed and formed the words "I can't do this." In his defense, he apologized and gave me a shitload of tickets, which was nice of him.

 I sure do fucking hate the fair.

 However, today's comic isn't entirely accurate. The man who operated the ride was not Waluigi, and he didn't bring in Donkey Kong to help get me situated. I don't know what kind of crazy Nintendo Circus Jeff cooked up there, but I think I like it.

 Jeff and I saw Shoot'em Up yesterday and, as expected, we enjoyed it quite a bit. If you enjoyed Crank with Jason Statham, you'll find a lot to love here. The action was over-the-top-notch (I just made that up, right now!) and it was pretty hilarious at parts. Clive Owen is one of the coolest action stars working today, Paul Giamatti plays an awesome villain, and Monica Bellucci might be the hottest woman in the world. For those that need further enticing, she plays a whore.

 We're wrapping the fair theme up next week with everyone's favorite rhyming food vendor!

-Dylan